Boo and I just finished the final season of the comedy, "Catastrophe," on Amazon Prime. The series is about an American businessman who travels to the UK, gets a women pregnant during a one-night stand, moves across the pond, and marries her. The comedy centered on how the two are making the relationship work despite all the challenges.
The first few seasons of the show were very funny. Unfortunately, Boo and I agreed that the final season was fairly unlikable. Here's why: the lead romantic characters were unlikable. The persistent themes of the final shows were that the couple expressed contempt for each constantly - yet miraculously expressed love for each other at the end of each episode.
Let me tell you through bitter experience: you CAN'T constantly express contempt for your partner yet somehow, make it last.
You've got to be intentional. A long-term relationship doesn't last naturally. You've got to actually think about - and act on - how you treat the other person in the relationship.
Being kind to each other is an intentional act.
That's why I agree with psychologist Kelsey Latimer, who says long-term relationships share the same characteristics. In short, solid relationships are founded on equality, appreciation, and love.
Those traits include:
- Positivity.
- Kindness during conflict.
- Independent interests.
- Emotional safety.
- Compatible humor.
- Acceptance.
- Friendship.
- Forgiveness.
- Romance.
Again, these things don't happen in a relationship by chance. You actually think about them and implement these traits.