I am glad to be a happily married man as I have avoided the "Tinder" and "eHarmony" age. Still, I am fascinated by today's love and marriage culture and often have dating and match-making guests on the show.
I also will read articles about successful relationships (or UNsuccessful) relationships to compare them to what I've learned in my own successful marriage.
When a marriage doesn't work out, it could be a case of people growing apart. Sometimes, though. one person in the union may just not have been ready to get hitched in the first place.
Of course there’s no sure fire way to tell whether someone isn't ready for the commitment that is marriage, but, according to an article in the New York Post, there are a few red flags you should be looking out for before you agree to say “I Do” to someone who may not be ready for a spouse.
Those signs include:
- They don’t set boundaries with their parents – While it’s perfectly fine for a person to be best friends with their parents, there needs to be some boundries. For example, if they are running to their parents to tell them every argument, or even talk about your sex life, there could be issues. Couples need to set strict ground rules about how much is too much when it comes to mom and dad.
- They’re critical of you — and not in a cute, teasing way – Sure a critical comment here and there is normal, but if it happens often that may be a clue. Plus, if those comments leave you feeling demeaned, ashamed or embarrassed that could mean trouble. The key is to be calm when you let them know it bothers you. Getting it out in a heated argument isn’t going to help.
- Their ex is still in the picture – While experts say it isn’t impossible for someone to be friends with an ex, if the soon-to-be-spouse isn’t comfortable with the relationship there’s going to be issues. If that ex isn’t a friend to your spouse as well, you probably shouldn’t be seeing them anymore.
- They’ve always instigated their breakups – Everyone’s going to have breakups in their past, but if they’re always the one ending it you may have cause for concern.
- They put you on a pedestal – Something may be off if your partner can’t say one negative thing about you. Everyone has flaws and it’s important to be honest with your partner when it comes to them.
- They give you reasons to doubt their fidelity – Cheating is one sure fire way to end a marriage, and while it’s hard to predict if someone will cheat, there may be some signs to look out for before you wed, like if they like to flirt on Instagram, if they have a wandering eye or if they’re secretive when on the phone or texting. If you see this before marriage, the chances are good it could get worse.